Photo by victoriapeckhamDoes he want to meet you?By understanding the 3 steps that men go through to meet you, you’ll have a guide that tells you what is coming next so you will know how to respond, and what went wrong if the encounter failed.
Knowing what is happening is important in order to be able to influence the situation in your favor.
I didn’t create these steps. It is simply wrote down what the more socially successful people do naturally when they meet someone new. Just think back to how you met someone in your life, for instance your best friend. It followed the pattern I have laid out here. However the steps flow together and are not discrete in the real world.
By artificially breaking it down into these steps, you can study them, understand them, and master them to the point where they becomes as natural as breathing. So for learning purposes, let’s consider these three steps:
- First impression
- Risk decision
- Verbal contact
First impression
Unless you make a satisfactory impression on a man, he will not make an effort to meet you. We make judgments of people we don’t know based on first impressions all the time. We actually have no choice due to the limited information we have on the large number of people we come across in the course of our everyday activities. But the weight that a first impression carries far outlasts the time it takes to make it, and it is of critical importance that you manage it to your benefit.
Your attractiveness can be broad based or narrowly focused, depending on your particular lifestyle. If you are a cowgirl or biker chick, you will only appeal to a select group of men. If you have more universal appeal you will appeal to a wider range of men. What your goals are and what your lifestyle is will determine the image you project, and the type men you will meet.
Of course this is a two way street and you are looking him over at the same time, making the same decisions and judgments about him.
He makes a risk decision
A man makes an instinctive decision to approach you or not, based on several things:
- How much he is attracted to you
- The degree of probability that you will be interested in him or not
- The level of risk he is willing to take in order to meet you
Assuming a man is in the market, he will look you over and decides if he wants to meet you based on the image you project and what he is looking for in a woman. Of course the more he likes you, the more motivated he will be to meet you.
Men are reluctant to approach a woman without some sign that she is interested. And some social situations make it easier or more difficult to meet you than others. These are areas that you have the greatest influence over.
The cost of attempting to meet you is the cost to his ego if he is unsuccessful. There is the risk that you will not be interested in him, that you’re married, what others will think about his attempt to meet you, and how to gracefully exit if he doesn’t like you after all.
How much risk a man is willing to take depends on his personality. Some men are very aggressive and willing to take lots of risk to meet you, while others will only approach you if it’s easy and low risk.
Verbal contact
- Opening: He approach you and begin a conversation
- Rapport: Continue the conversation and establish a rapport
- Close: End the conversation and gets your number or arrange another meeting
It is virtually impossible to meet someone without talking to them. Up till now all the communication has primarily been visual, and to a large part, will continue to be. His initial verbal approach is commonly known as an opening line. The opening line gives him a reason for being in your presence and starting the conversation.
You then make “small talk” and listen for information he reveals and you share information about yourself that will allow the conversation to continue until you find a topic that will lead to a full blown conversation. At this point it is not important what is said, as long as it is not inappropriate for the situation.
You continue the “small talk” until you find something you have in common to talk about, an integrating topic. You gathering additional information, verbal and nonverbal, in order to decide if you like each other and want to pursue the meeting. You either confirm or change your mind about the first impression you had of him, and vice versa.
You eventually have to go your own way. The end of a conversation is where you will make arrangements to see each other again, or not. You can arrange for the next date, or he can ask for your phone number, or you exchange phone numbers. If you decide that you are not interested in him, here is where you terminate further contact. Either way it is the end for the moment.
Text The Romance Back 2.0
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The techniques in this video have been tested by tens of thousands of women around the world, were featured on Rachael Ray and are based on simple facts of masculine psychology that you’ve probably never heard before. |
| Click here to read my review of Text The Romance Back 2.0… | |
